The Weakness in Me
by manwathiel elensar
Summary: If I choose now, I'll lose out, but one of you has to fall... After giving in to temptation, Hotch has to make the hardest decision of his life. But who will he choose? SLASH H/R & H/M One-shot  songfic


__**First and foremost, apologies to those of you reading Reasonable Doubt. Chapter 22 is half way to completion. But I have been suffering from a severe case of writer's block, hence this little bad boy! Don't worry, this only took two days as it was a half completed fic I wrote for another fandom. **

**This is my first attempt at slash. I'm going to say don't like, don't read. Because honestly, if I saw this story, I wouldn't bother reading it. I really don't read slash! But this idea just wouldn't leave my mind. It is a songfic (don't let that put you off) based on the song "Weakness in Me" by Joan Armatrading. In my mind, it was just begging for this storyline. Please be honest with your reviews, like I say, I don't read or write slash so this is a new one for me. And I promise, Reasonable Doubt will be up by weekend! ENJOY! ;)  
><strong>

**Slash H/R & H/M**

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm not the sort of person..<br>Who falls..  
>In and quickly out of love..<strong>_

_**But to you I gave my affection..  
>Right from the start..<strong>_

"I can't believe we're doing this." Hotch spoke hastily, breathless between kisses.

Hotch lay flat on his couch with Morgan sprawled on top of him. Morgan at the first sign of hesitance, quickly started undoing the buttons to Hotch's shirt, deepening the kiss.

Hotch suddenly pulled back.

"Derek, no. _We really_ shouldn't be doing this." He said, breathlessly

Morgan once again leaned in to kiss his superior. Hotch continued,

"I love him Derek, he trusts me."

Sighing, Morgan sat himself up, one leg either side of Hotch's body.

"I know Hotch, but people move apart. _I_ love youand I know you feel the same way about me."

Softening his expression somewhat, Hotch visibly relaxed allowing Morgan once again to close the distance between them.

"I know I do, Derek. I know." Morgan once again took Hotch's mouth into a bruising kiss and the two explored each other's bodies, rolling onto the floor.

Between kissing Hotch's neck, Morgan whispered.

"We'll just have to have our secrets."

"We can't do this to him." Hotch replied, desperately trying to resist the darker man's ministrations.

Morgan stopped. Looking Hotch deep in the eyes.

"Well stop then." He said plainly. Although he was feeling awful about what he was doing, he couldn't help himself. He and Hotch had grown extremely close over recent months and he couldn't deny his growing feelings. Despite his love for his best friend.

Hotch looked at Morgan for a few moments, examining his face. Slight resistance flashed across his features, until the acceptance took over. He scowled, as he moved his lips towards Morgan's, knowing he shouldn't but unable to resist.

_**I have a lover..  
>Who loves me..<br>How could I break such a heart..**_

Late again, Hotch urgently knocked on Reid's front door. It wasn't the first time he'd been late for Reid cooking dinner and both of them knew it wasn't going to be the last.

Nervously hopping from one foot to the other, Hotch desperately tried to think of an explanation for why he was so late... again. Somehow, he didn't think 'I've been cheating on you with your best friend' was the right way to go.

Before he could form a coherent thought the front door swung open. Hotch stood staring at Reid, face filled with guilt, hands shaking.

"God Spencer, I'm so sorry. I... I got held up with paperwork... I'm really sorry."

Reid stared back, his face dusted with flour, his eyes expressionless.

"Spencer? Please speak to me, I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."

Reid just sighed, looking rather depressed.

"I promise." Hotch continued.

A promise he knew he wouldn't keep.

Hotch's breath became panicked, why wasn't Reid speaking? Did he know? Hotch prayed that he didn't.

All of a sudden a slightly amused look spread over Reid's face. Hotch returned his look with a confused stare.

"It doesn't matter." Reid smiled genuinely. "I'm just glad you could make it at all." He blushed slightly. Still looking very pleased to have Hotch in his life full stop.

Reid smiled again, reaching towards Hotch's collar and straightening it out. His subordinate blushed again at the seemingly controlling gesture. Hotch winced internally with embarrassment, knowing that was Morgan's handiwork.

"The food's not important, especially when I'm spending the evening with you." Reid gave a small, shy smile, kissing Hotch softly on the lips. Their foreheads rested together as they stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you." Reid said gently, in his insecure manner.

Hotch's stomach did a flip as he heard the words, the guilt ate away at him. How could he do this to someone who loved him so much? Someone who gave so much of himself away just to make him happy? How understanding could someone be?

Reid almost irritated him, he was so perfect.

Hotch's eyes started to well up slightly.

"I love you too."

And he did.

But he loved Derek too.

"You okay?" Reid looked deep into Hotch's eyes, seeing a tiredness that seemed to be so familiar as of late. Not to mention the welling up of tears.

The genuine concern and love in Reid's face only served to send Hotch over the edge. His eyes welled up completely and a tear ran down his face. The guilt eating away at him.

"What did I do to deserve you?" He moved in to give Reid a back breaking hug.

Reid hesitantly returned it. That was Reid's problem, the physical aspects of a relationship. When someone else made the move, however familiar, he instantly became uncomfortable. This had caused a few arguments in the past. But Hotch was seemingly used to it now, it was just Reid's way.

But still, Reid slowly and carefully released himself from Hotch's grip and gestured him to the couch.

"You can sit down if you want." He suggested to his lover. "I'll get you something to eat. You're probably just tired... 54% percent of people between the ages of twenty to forty four years complain about being unable to sleep. Almost 60% of those said that stress at work was a contributing factor."

"I know, Reid." Hotch said gently, trying to distance himself from the topic. He had clearly been given these figures before.

"You can stay here tonight if you like." Reid placed a gentle kiss on the top of Hotch's head then made his way to the kitchen. He didn't often initiate contact, but when he did it was gentle and non-invasive.

Hotch mentally slapped himself for losing it like that. How could he be so stupid? Talk about suspicious. And now his boyfriend was looking after him because he was upset about the fact that he is cheating on him. In Hotch's mind, you couldn't get much lower.

After they had both eaten, they settled down on the couch. Hotch sat in the corner and Reid lay with his head against Hotch's chest. Reid had been holding his hand for the past half hour, but now the grip had loosened. Hotch looked down to see Reid fast asleep.

He smiled to himself, Reid always looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Suddenly his phone started vibrating. Keen not to disturb the younger man from his sleep he carefully extracted his phone from his pocket.

He flipped it open to find a message from Morgan.

"Hey. Take it u r Reid's. I've been callin urs. Wanted 2 c u. Let me know when u get this."

Glancing down again, Hotch saw that Reid was still asleep. It must have been at least 11pm. Why the hell was Morgan texting him at this time?

Flipping his phone open he started to type a reply.

"Can't tonight Derek. You know I'm with Reid x"

His thumb lingered over the send key for a few seconds... All of a sudden he found himself cancelling the message. He gently shifted his hands to Reid's back and head, manoeuvring himself from underneath his young lover. He winced when Reid moaned slightly, but he didn't wake up. Hotch stared down at the young man as he lay flat out on the couch. He smiled despite the situation. He really did love Reid.

Hotch moved towards the door. A picture of him and Reid round at Rossi's house caught his eye. They looked so happy, Hotch had his arm around Reid's shoulders and was kissing him on the cheek. Reid was smiling fully, his perfect teeth on full display. His hair was messed up from where Hotch's other hand was playfully rubbing and his cheeks were flushed with slight embarrassment. The picture made him sick with guilt.

His thumb had already found it's way to Morgan's number and had hit dial. After a couple of rings, a deep voice answered the phone.

Hotch whispered,

"I'll be home in ten minutes."

_**But still you get my attention..**_

"I thought you wouldn't come." Morgan stood in Hotch's doorway leaning against the front door. His arms were folded and he would have looked relaxed if not for his foot tapping awkwardly.

Hotch moved straight towards the lock with his key, not wanting a discussion on the streets. Morgan quickly grabbed his hand and continued speaking softly.

"I'm glad you did though."

Hotch turned to look at Morgan, his eyes were piercing him. He suddenly felt a stirring of lust, he needed him right there and then.

Turning the lock and grabbing hold of Morgan's collar he pulled him in through the door and straight onto the stairs. They both collapsed onto the rough carpet and kissed each other fiercely, clothes were quickly removed and they were soon breathing heavily, taking turns to pleasure each other in anyway they possibly could. Sweat glistening over both of their bodies, they stroked each other slowly, moaning as they finished each other off.

As they both felt the release of sexual tension, Hotch fell into Morgan's open arms as they steadied their breathing. Placing kisses on Morgan's neck, Hotch whispered,

"I'm glad I did too."

Morgan sat up, pulling Hotch up with him, he turned his lover's face so they were looking directly at each other.

"I love you Aaron Hotchner."

Hotch smiled at Morgan.

"I love you too."

Morgan gently caught Hotch's lips with a wet kiss and pulled him up to his feet, leading him upstairs to the bedroom.

Hotch didn't notice his phone vibrating in his pants' pocket.

_**Why do you come here when you know I've got troubles enough?**_

_**Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the phone?**_

"Why didn't you just wake me and let me know you were leaving?" Reid was upset, his arms were wrapped tightly around his midsection and his face had the expression of a moody puppy. He couldn't understand why Hotch had been so distant recently. And the discovery of Morgan in Hotch's house this morning was enough to make him completely insecure. He had already been suspicious of their relationship.

He refused to believe for a second that they were any more than friends, but he just couldn't understand why Hotch felt the need to spend so much time with Morgan. They had never been that close before.

Hotch stood with his head bowed, his eyebrows furrowed as if presented with an unsettling problem. He should have expected this last night when he left. But he didn't think. He never does where Morgan's involved.

"I'm sorry, Spencer." He stepped towards Reid a little, trying to make the first move.

Reid took a step back, making his body language even more introverted. He cast his gaze downwards, trying to resist the urge to run into Hotch's arms and hold him tightly.

"Yeah... yeah I know Aaron... I've heard this before... It's always sorry." He smiled slightly. His expression was sheepish.

Feeling the frustration gathering, Hotch took a deep breath. He was actually getting annoyed with Reid. Why couldn't he just believe him?

"There's not a lot more I can say." He said through gritted teeth.

Reid furrowed his brows at Hotch's tone. Reid may have been extremely considerate of people feelings and reluctant to get into arguments, but he wasn't a push over. Hotch's tone of voice was not justified, he had no right.

"Let me ask you this," Reid said quickly. "Why did you go home last night? Or maybe, why didn't you wake me up?... Or even why was Morgan here so early this morning?... Huh?" Reid had now taken a step towards Hotch, his face slightly defiant.

Hotch's face fell into a stony mask, the anger burned from his eyes.

"Oh! So this is what it's about then? Derek?" He folded his arms as a challenge to Reid.

Reid all of a sudden looked nervous and started shifting from one foot to the other. He didn't make eye contact with Hotch, his face flushed with embarrassment.

"Maybe.." He sighed under his breath.

"Oh come on Spencer, he's your best friend!"

"You two are so close." Reid said gently.

"And you're jealous?" Hotch smirked at his boyfriend.

Chancing a glance up at Hotch, Reid saw he was smiling and managed a nervous laugh.

"Yeah... well, I guess I am... a little."

Suddenly Reid's face turned serious again, "he does have the habit of turning up at the most inconvenient times though. It's like he's _trying _to get in the way... if you know what I mean."

Hotch's brows furrowed and he eyed Reid carefully.

"No Reid... no I don't." His voice was almost a warning.

As Reid was about to speak, almost on cue the door bell rang. They both instinctively knew who it was.

"I'll get it." Hotch moved towards his front door. He was quickly over taken by Reid who barged past him and forcefully swung open the door. Hotch was stunned at the alpha male behaviour.

Reid stood in silence for a couple of seconds, staring at the visitor.

"Should've known." Reid muttered under his breath.

"Hey Reid!" Morgan replied in a cheerful voice, pretending not to hear the obvious jibe in his direction.

Hotch groaned inwardly, shooting Morgan a look. Then he moved past Reid and motioned Morgan in.

"Sorry Derek, come in. Everything okay?" He had taken him by the shoulder and led him to the couch. All the while Reid was watching their interactions.

Hotch obviously seemed confused and somewhat agitated at Morgan's sudden appearance. But still, he was making him feel at home none the less.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just thought you might be alone, was gonna watch a movie and crack open a few beers."

Morgan gave Hotch a suggestive smile which Reid could not see from where he was standing. In return Hotch raised an eyebrow suggesting to Morgan that he didn't believe for a second that he'd thought he was alone.

Although Morgan's games drove Hotch mad, it made the whole affair ten times more fun. Trying not to crack a smile, Hotch straightened himself and looked up at Reid.

Reid just stared back, seemingly in a daze. He couldn't understand why Morgan could just waltz in at the most inconvenient of moments and Hotch would welcome him with open arms.

Letting out a slightly hysterical laugh, Reid rubbed his temples and stumbled back towards the door as if disorientated.

"This isn't right. I gotta go."

Hotch was all of a sudden panicked and raced towards Reid to grab him by the arm.

"No Spencer! Stay, please."

Reid didn't give Hotch eye contact and just pulled away from his grasp. He started walking down the driveway talking as he left.

"I'll speak to you when I can get two minutes of your time. Alone."

Hotch stood helpless in the doorway, watching him leave. He just couldn't find the energy to fight for him. As much as he loved Reid, the man on the couch had him bewitched. Almost as if he was attached to him by elastic. He couldn't move too far away, he would only come flying back.

Hotch told himself that not following Reid was the best thing to do in this situation. But deep down he knew he had made his choice.

"You comin' back in Aaron?" Morgan was peering curiously over his shoulder at him.

"You just couldn't help it, could you?" Hotch asked with no real venom, rubbing his hand across his face. He moved round onto the couch next to his lover. In return Morgan took hold of his hands and looked into Hotch's eyes.

"Sorry, man. I know it was stupid. But I just can't stand back knowing you're with him any more."

Hotch broke Morgan's eye contact and gave a deep sigh.

"I know Derek... But what am I supposed to do? He loves me so much, it'll break his heart."

Getting frustrated Morgan released Hotch's hands and turned away slightly.

"And what about me?"

Hotch looked at Morgan in surprise. It was strange, he didn't expect Morgan to want to stay his 'bit on the side' forever, but hearing him actually express the need for a relationship with him caught him off guard. He hadn't expected this for a few months, at least. He had no idea Morgan was so unhappy with the arrangements.

"Derek, I love you, you know that."

"Obviously not as much as him." Morgan spat back.

Hotch wasn't really sure what to say. He had never really considered which of the two he loved more. In all honesty, he had never compared them. He was drawn to Morgan in a much more sexual way than to Reid, but he needed Reid. God, he needed him.

"I... I just don't want him hurt... you know the situation... it's delicate."

"Why?" Morgan interrupted, "'Cause he's so fucked up that he can't have a proper relationship with someone? I mean, has he even slept with you yet? What kind of relationship is that Aaron? You're babysitting him, not in a relationship with him."

Hotch was shocked by his lover's outburst.

"Derek, you are supposed to be his best friend." He said warningly.

"I am! Well... I think we've passed that point now." Morgan said, very aware of the current situation. "But for God's sake he's gotta get it together at some point!"

"Oh come on Derek, be fair. You know what his last relationship was like! Everyone does! That guy was a bastard!... So forgive me for being a little over considerate!"

An eerie silence overtook the room. Both were entranced by their own thoughts. They stayed like that, not talking for a good few minutes. Morgan snapped out of it first, feeling awful for being so cruel about his young, totally clueless friend.

"You're right, man... I'm sorry. I totally understand why you're taking it slow. I do. I just want you to be mine so badly." He turned to face Hotch with tear glazed eyes.

Hotch slung an arm around Morgan's shoulders and they both leaned back into the couch, Hotch rested his head on top of Morgan's.

"I know. I wish it was easier... He's just been hurt so much, I dunno if I can do it to him again... He trusts me."

"Yeah... but I can't wait forever, Aaron." Morgan rose to his feet and Hotch shot him a confused look.

"Call me when you know how to end it." He made his way to the door and opened it, "We both know it's me you want." He then made a swift exit, closing the door behind him.

Hotch sat staring towards the door in confusion.

_**Make me lie when I don't want to... and make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool.**_

Hotch hadn't seen either Morgan or Reid for three days. They'd had an impromptu break, thanks to a sudden lack of cases. He sat in his office, unable to concentrate on his paper work.

The tension in the bull pen had been palpable. Morgan and Reid seemed to not be talking and they certainly weren't talking to him. Feeling it was best, Hotch kept his head down and marched his way into his office. Dodging the curious looks from JJ, Prentiss and Rossi.

He had decided, after work today he was going to tell Reid.

His stomach did a flip at the thought. He didn't want to lose him, but he couldn't lie any more. He loved him and hated the fact he was making a fool out of him.

This was why he was sat in his office, blinds closed and lighting dark. In the bull pen, he would have to face both Reid and Morgan. He couldn't bear it. Working in an office with profilers was a difficulty, people could read him like a book. Rossi had already asked him 'what the deal' was with him and Morgan. Hotch was seriously amazed they'd kept this going so long.

He jumped as he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in." He answered.

The door opened and Reid entered the room and headed straight for the couch with his head down. Dried tear tracks stained his face. Hotch paled and he felt sick with anxiety, and not for the first time. Had Morgan told him? This wasn't to plan.

"I'm sorry!" Reid mumbled out followed by a small sob. He lowered his head into his hands. "I'm really sorry, Aaron."

Hotch's brows furrowed and he shook his head in confusion.

"What... What are you sorry for?" Hotch stuttered, his heart in his throat.

Reid chanced a glance at Hotch.

"You're gonna be really angry." He warned, like a child.

Feeling himself relax a little, Hotch moved over to Reid and sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. He felt a shiver go up his spine as he did so.

"No I won't, Spencer. What is it?"

Reid took a deep, shaky breath and wiped his eyes clear of tears.

"I've ruined everything..." He looked sheepishly at Hotch. "I accused Morgan of sleeping with you... I'm so, _so_ sorry." Reid looked away again.

Hotch sat in stunned shock for a couple of seconds. Not really sure what to say. Now was the perfect opportunity to tell him - but for some reason he found himself coming up with excuses. He told himself it wasn't the right time, but deep down he knew it was because he loved him and didn't want to let him go.

He eyed Reid carefully and asked the vital question.

"And... and what did he say?" He knew he came across as worried, it was impossible to hide. His stomach was churning, this could be the moment he'd been dreading.

Reid shook himself free from Hotch's grip and put some distance between them, fixing his gaze at the floor.

Hotch's stomach lurched for not the first time today, he was almost dizzy with nerves.

"I'm really sorry." He said seriously and calmly. "I always have to go and ruin everything."

Hotch studied Reid carefully, he didn't seem angry. Feeling his heart rate slow down slightly, he slid across the couch towards Reid again. Suddenly Reid's hand was on his chest.

"No, Hotch. Don't. I really don't deserve it." He kept his gaze to the floor. "I can't believe I thought that of you. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Hotch couldn't even bring himself to open his mouth, guilt sealed it shut. If he didn't say anything, then at least he wasn't lying.

"Now I've spoiled your surprise." Hotch's eyes widened in confusion. What the hell was he talking about? "You go to all that trouble and I have to ruin it."

"What has Morgan been telling you?" He asked rather cleverly, without giving away the fact that he has no idea about any surprise.

Reid looked at Hotch through guilt ridden eyes.

"He told me about the party."

Hotch couldn't help but appear perplexed.

Reid laughed slightly at his lover's face then stopped himself, realising that Hotch had every right to be extremely annoyed at this point. Getting up from the couch, he put back the distance between himself and Hotch. Hotch got up to follow, stopping when his partner spoke.

"There's no point in pretending, Aaron. It's been ruined, I'm sorry."

Hotch stared dumbstruck at Reid for a few moments, his mouth just wouldn't seem to work. Until that moment, he still wasn't entirely sure his secret life hadn't been exposed. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, he released the breath he hadn't realised he was holding and naturally, the acting began.

Looking uncomfortably to the side, he put his hands in his pockets and shifted his feet nervously.

"Well, I suppose you know now." If that sounded convincing to Reid, it certainly didn't to Hotch.

Reid sighed, moving towards him taking him by the upper arms, the worry still evident in his face.

"I am so, _so_ sorry Aaron." He tried to search Hotch's eyes for some sort of reaction but he was avoiding his gaze.

Deep down Hotch couldn't look at Reid because of the lies, but it was clear that Reid wasn't seeing any of it. He was completely clueless. Hotch told himself that what he was doing was the right thing, he couldn't very well tell Reid that he was cheating on him when the cruel lie of a fake birthday party had also been introduced into the mix. He was going to have to kill Morgan later.

Muttering under his breath, Hotch feigned hurt.

"It doesn't really matter... was just doing something nice." Hotch pulled away.

Desperately, Reid grabbed Hotch's face and turned it towards him.

"I know! I know Aaron! And I've been so selfish – and stupid! I can't believe I've ruined it." His hands dropped down to his side when Hotch still didn't look him in the eyes. "You must hate me right now."

Hotch quickly looked up, quick to answer.

"No Reid! No, I don't hate you at all."

Reid's brows furrowed with embarrassment.

"Even though I... I-", he shied away from Hotchs gaze. "Accused you of sleeping with Morgan?" Reid looked ashamed.

Feeling his heart beating hard again, Hotch felt slightly light headed. Before even thinking, he responded.

"Well, that's just you isn't it Reid." He said gently, already wishing he hadn't. He hadn't even used his first name.

Reid looked up, surprised and slightly hurt.

"What do you mean?" He asked, quietly.

Squirming under Reid's imploring gaze, Hotch found himself speaking in somewhat of a panic.

"Well, you just do these things... sometimes - not all the time! Just when you are, well, just feeling a bit... I dunno... insecure, I guess."

Reid raised his eyebrows, there was no anger in his face, he was just shocked.

"Insecure?"

Hotch continued to squirm, mentally kicking himself for every word as it left his lips.

"Well, you just have... erm, problems, shall we say."

Reid looked hurt at this. Hotch quickly corrected himself.

"No, no, not _problems._ Just... issues, I suppose."

"Issues?" Reid looked just as hurt as when Hotch had used the word 'problems'.

"Will you stop repeating everything I'm saying?" Hotch snapped, frustrated.

Reid was taken aback, he stared at Hotch for a few moments but before Hotch could speak, he drew his gaze away. He moved towards the bookshelf, staring at the collection, not taking it in.

"You have every right to be angry. I have embarrassed us all. Morgan was furious."

Hotch rolled his eyes.

"I would imagine he was." He said dryly.

"But without you my life would be empty." He turned round to face Hotch, "please _please_ forgive me. I will do anything to make it up to you. I really do trust you. Things have just been so weird lately. I promise, you and Morgan can spend as much time together as you like, party planning or not. I just don't want this to be the end for us."

Hotch let out a slight laugh and moved towards Reid, he grabbed his face, Reid instantly tensed.

"What made you think this is the end?" He smiled and leaned in to kiss Reid's lips. Reid visibly relaxed, the relief washing over him. Hotch felt the feeling was mutual.

"But this has to stop, Reid." Hotch found the strength to drive home the point about Morgan. Reid expected him to be annoyed, so he at least had to be slightly convincing, right? "This paranoia about what I'm doing, who I'm with, when I'm gonna leave you."

Reid tried to interrupt but was quickly silenced by a controlling finger on his lips.

"You have to sort your head out Reid. I am not Jonathan. I am not going to hurt you, in _anyway_, physically or mentally. I could be really annoyed about this... but I'm not. Because I'm not him – and you have to remember that. This is something you have to get over, along with other things-"

He reached his hand around to Reid's backside and squeezed. Again Reid tensed hard, clearly not comfortable with the situation. But Hotch's hand stayed put and was soon joined by the other one. Hotch then kissed Reid deeply and possessively, a kiss that would normally be reserved for Morgan.

Taken aback, Reid pulled away slightly but Hotch followed him, speaking between heavy breaths.

"I want you, Reid. But it can't always be on your terms. I need you to trust me... completely. If you can't do that, then... I don't see a future." Hotch pulled away composing himself for the final sting. "Maybe if you were more confident... _sexually,_ then maybe you wouldn't compare yourself to more confident people, like Morgan."

Hotch found some sort of sick satisfaction in what he'd said. In a way, he believed it to be true. Perhaps if Reid did offer him more in that department then he wouldn't feel the need to look elsewhere. Didn't that make it Reid's fault just as much? But then there was just the sick feeling, right in the pit of his stomach when he realised that because of his recent interactions with Morgan, he was putting pressure on Reid that he really didn't need.

The insecurity was written all over Reid's face, it was plain to see how someone found it so easy to control and abuse him. The insecurity soon turned to guilt and he was apologising to Hotch, yet again. Giving him a swift kiss on the forehead, Hotch found himself suddenly desperate to get Reid out of the room, before he made any more drastic decisions.

Telling him quickly that it didn't matter and to forget his last comment, he pointed Reid in the direction of the door, he just needed him out of the way so he could deal with his guilt. Encouraging him to go and have some coffee and get some fresh air, he opened the door to let Reid out.

Reid went to leave, but paused by the door. He turned to Hotch and looked him straight in the eye.

"I will work on it, Aaron. I promise." He said in a small voice.

Hotch just smiled and nodded, the light not quite reaching his eyes.

"Okay." Hotch sighed.

After closing the door behind his boyfriend, Hotch leaned up against it. His eyes closed and his face up towards the ceiling. As he went over what he had just done, the lies, the pretend party, convincing Reid he was paranoid and worst of all, uncontrollably pressuring him to be more like Morgan. Suddenly, the whole situation became very real. He moved to the couch and put his head in his hands.

_What am I going to do now?_

_**You make me stay when I should not.**_

_**Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?**_

"Why? Why did you have to do that?"

"Would you rather me have told him the _truth_?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Hotch rubbed his hand over his face. "But a birthday party? Couldn't you have just said I was helping you out with something? Or...anything other than that?"

"Aaron, I did what I had to at that moment. I didn't think about what I was saying, it just came out."

"But now he thinks we've been planning him something nice when really we've been betraying him in the worst possible way!"

Morgan sighed, throwing his hands up into the air in frustration.

"What do you want, Hotch?"

Hotch looked at him questioningly.

"What?"

"What the hell do you want? You either want this or you don't. There is no 'nice' way."

"Yeah, but to make _him_ feel guilty, just feels so wrong." Hotch rubbed his head, stressed.

"But you know that is the only way to make him believe us! If I'd have said I was 'helping' you with something, he still would have been suspicious. _And _would wonder why you hadn't asked him for help!" Morgan was getting frustrated. "It's easier this way, at least we get to be together now without suspicion. And Reid gets himself a birthday party", Morgan smirked harshly, "it's all worked out really when you think about it!"

Hotch looked at Morgan, his face expressionless.

"Are you really so unfeeling?"

Morgan's smile faded and for a brief moment, anger flashed in his eyes.

"Unfeeling?... How dare you. I have to sit and watch the man I love day in, day out, with another man. It tears me apart that I can't be with you all the time! And I then have to lie to Reid and protect _your_ relationship with _him_, all because his head's so fuckin' messed up and _you _feel sorry for him." Hotch looked shocked. "Well let's face it, Aaron. You're not with him for any other reason, are you?"

Hotch struggled to find his words.

"I.. I don't feel sorry for him." He stated, with little commitment.

"Yeah, sure you don't." They locked gazes with each other for a few moments. Hotch just shook his head in disgust.

"You are supposed to be his friend!"

"Why the hell do you think I'm so angry?" Morgan banged his fist on the table. "Don't you think it's killing me doing this to him? Don't you think I remember what he went through? Damn it, Aaron!"

Hotch's eyebrows furrowed as he realised how much this was messing everything up. Morgan had been a rock for Reid after his split from Jonathan. Through all of the threatening calls, the stalking, the abusive letters and gifts. Especially when Jonathan had broken into Reid's flat and beaten him black and blue for daring to leave. Morgan had caught him in the act about to sexually assault his best friend.

Needless to say, Jonathan didn't come near Reid again.

The team had been so close at that time. They all supported each other completely. Gathering around Reid to help him through. But now, the team dynamic was entirely different. Since Hotch and Reid got together, they had been given a lot more space. The other team members weren't nearly as protective as they had been. Mostly because they knew Hotch would cover that job. Since Morgan had become involved in the whole sorry mess, Prentiss, JJ and Garcia had backed away even more. The atmosphere was often tense. It was clear that the ladies felt completely out of the loop. Rossi served as mediator, but Hotch wasn't sure how much longer that would last. Rossi wasn't stupid, he'd had enough affairs to recognise sexual tension when he saw it. He knew. He hadn't said anything as yet, but he was building to it. Hotch could feel it.

He looked at Morgan, his gaze softening as the distressing memories danced behind the darker man's eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"Don't." Morgan said strongly. "We can try and make ourselves feel better about this or we can do what's right by him and be true friends... I swore I would protect him and now I'm hurting him... the least I can do is be fuckin' honest about it."

"No." Hotch said simply, before he even realised the word was coming out of his mouth.

"No?" Morgan asked with raised eyebrows. "What do you mean, no? You would rather stay with someone you don't love, pitying him, leading him on, letting him live a lie than hurt him by telling the truth? I never took you for a coward, Aaron!" Morgan shook his head in disgust at the man he loved and respected. "You think you're protecting him, but you're destroying him more than you'll ever know. We both are." His voice softened at the last few words. Morgan had been so caught up in the passion and excitement of the whole sorry situation, that he'd barely taken time to think about his part in the deception and how Reid would deal with him. The focus had been on Hotch and Reid. But now, Morgan felt equally nervous for himself.

He didn't want to lose Reid, but it was inevitable. Morgan was never going to remain as Hotch's 'bit on the side' and his conscience was never going to allow him to hold this secret from Reid for too long. They'd already done enough damage. He couldn't hurt the kid any more.

"I know." Hotch said forlornly. He dropped himself down onto the couch. "I was going to do it today." Hotch sighing.

Morgan's interest suddenly perked up.

"You what?"

"Finish it." Hotch said gently. "But I couldn't, not after the birthday party thing." He said shamefully.

Morgan pulled a face.

"Yeah, sorry about that." He said uncomfortably.

"It's okay. You were only doing what you thought was right." Hotch waved his hand dismissively.

"No, man." Morgan said plainly, stepping forwards. "No. I was doing what I thought you wanted. Doing what's right is what we should be doing. If I'd have done the right thing, you and him would be over right now and we wouldn't be sitting with this guilty feeling in our stomachs."

Hotch just sighed, frustrated. He dropped his head into his hands and let out a gentle moan.

Morgan continued, "this can't carry on, Aaron. You either love me, or you love him. It's about time you made your choice." He walked towards the door, opening it as he spoke. "Once you've made up your mind, let me know. Before then, don't bother me." He slammed the door behind him.

_**Why do you come here and pretend to be just passing by?**_

_**When I need to see you,**_

_**When I need to hold you tightly.**_

Hotch paced his living room, his heart was pounding furiously. He had just been kicked out of his boyfriend's house. His face was a picture of anger.

"_Where have you been?" Reid asked._

"_I thought you said you weren't going to do this any more?" Hotch said, his words slightly slurred._

_Reid's eyes opened wide, in scared realisation._

"_You're drunk." He said simply._

_Hotch moved towards Reid, wrapping his arms around his back, pulling him possessively close._

"_And?..." He said with a smile. Reid's automatic reaction was to back away from a drunk person. Force of habit._

_He tried to extract himself from Hotch's grip._

"_Aaron, please." He said, fidgeting with the older man's fingers, trying to release their hold._

"_Spencer, relax." He said, running his hands down Reid's tense back._

"_You were out with Morgan?" Reid questioned carefully._

_Hotch stared deep into Reid's eyes, he could tell the young man was nervous._

"_And what if I was?" He said, tightening the grip very slightly on his boyfriend. _

_Reid's hands still rested on Hotch's hands, monitoring their movements. His gaze dropped down when he realised he was getting jealous and insecure again._

"_I just thought we were spending tonight together." He said gently, embarrassed._

"_It's not too late." Hotch said, putting his mouth to Reid's ear and licking, making the young man shiver._

"_Aaron, it's eleven o'clock." Reid said, pulling his face away._

"_Since when has there been a time limit on spending time with my boyfriend?" Hotch was following him, he was oddly possessive._

_Reid braced his hands against Hotch's chest now, putting some distance between them. He looked at him seriously._

"_It's not a time limit, Aaron. It's just common courtesy. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask that your boyfriend calls you if they are going to be this late. I should at least have the choice of whether I wait up for you, instead of worrying that you're dead in some ditch somewhere."_

_Hotch's face twitched slightly, he felt his fists grip Reid's clothes tighter. Why was he making this so complicated? But when he saw the small look of panic that this movement caused, Hotch felt annoyed with himself. Shaking his head, he released his grip on his young boyfriend and took a step back._

"_I'm sorry." He said._

_Reid's arms wrapped tightly around himself, as they always did when he was nervous about a situation. He was clearly distancing himself from his lover._

"_You always are." Reid said simply._

_Hotch let out an amused laugh._

"_You make it sound like I do this all the time."_

"_Well you're never here." Reid said sharply._

"_Are you ever going to stop being the victim?" Hotch said harshly. _

_Reid's mouth dropped open a little in shock. He stared at Hotch, his eyes wide and hurt._

_Hotch mentally slapped himself right away. He was punishing Reid for how he felt about himself. He was the one turning Reid into a victim again and it was making him angry, so he was taking it out on him. It wasn't fair but he couldn't help himself. Reid just kept making this whole situation more and more difficult. _

_Hotch took a step towards his boyfriend._

"_God, I'm sorr-"_

"_Get out." Reid said sternly._

"_No, Spencer, please listen." Hotch tried to grab him by the arms, but Reid dodged his grasp._

"_I said get out." Hotch stared at him for a few moments._

"_No." He said defiantly._

_Reid just shook his head in disgust, went straight for his bedroom and closed the door behind him. The lock he'd put in place from his previous relationship was still intact, despite Hotch's best attempts to get him to remove it._

_Hotch found himself on the other side of the locked door, begging his lover to let him in, to forgive him. After a good ten minutes of being ignored, Hotch kicked the door, furiously. Marching out of the flat._

Hotch still paced. The conversation between he and Reid repeating relentlessly in his mind. He loved Reid so much, but he was so frustrating. Morgan wouldn't have reacted that way. Morgan would have seen he was drunk and taken complete advantage of it. He wouldn't have backed away from his touches. He'd have returned them wholeheartedly.

Hotch felt a stirring in his groin as he thought about Morgan's likely reaction. All thoughts of Reid were now replaced by sexually explicit memories of Morgan. Hotch let out a shuddering breath.

Picking up his phone, he scrolled down the numbers to Derek Morgan. His thumb went to the dial button when the doorbell rang. Hotch's eyebrows furrowed, his mind instinctively going to his gun and its current location, as it always did when he had a late night caller.

Looking through his peep hole, his breath caught as he saw Morgan stood on the doorstep. Opening the door hastily. He pulled Morgan through the door, closing it behind them swiftly. Automatically they were touching, kissing, grabbing. They fell onto the couch unable to let each other go.

"I knew you'd be here." Morgan whispered between passionate kisses.

"I knew you'd come." Hotch replied, falling onto the floor with his lover.

_**Feeling guilty, worried, waking from tormented sleep.**_

_**This old love has me bound.**_

Hotch walked in through the door, he was exhausted. Today had been a long day, full of paperwork, wrapping up cases and cutting through political red tape. All he wanted to do was fall into his bed and not wake up until the next morning.

His brows furrowed as he saw that a light was on upstairs. Dropping down his briefcase, he pulled his gun from his holster ready to defend himself against any intruder.

He crept slowly up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise. The light was coming from the bedroom, it was dim but it was definitely on. He tip toed his way up to the room and pushed the door open carefully, pointing it into the room. What he saw made him drop the gun instantly.

His bed was covered in rose petals, the room was lit by tons of candles and champagne was set out on both of the bedside tables. In the middle of the bed, now fast asleep was Reid.

Hotch's eyes watered up slightly and he smiled, truly touched. Reid was not the type for romantic gestures, in fact, he found it difficult to understand why such things were important to people. Hotch knew he would have felt incredibly insecure doing this for him. It wasn't that Reid was a bad person, Hotch always assumed that it was the fact that Reid had autistic tendencies. Sometimes they could stop him fully interpreting and understanding emotions. Notions that were so important to others could often be completely lost upon Reid.

Hotch moved towards the bed, sitting himself down next to the younger man. He gazed at his sleeping form. He looked so peaceful. He loved watching Reid sleep.

"God, I love you." He whispered.

Reid had obviously been there for a while, his skin was cold to touch.

"Spencer?" Hotch said gently, nudging him a little.

Reid moaned out of his sleep, turning over slightly as he stirred. "Spencer?" Hotch repeated again.

Reid's eyes then opened, sudden realisation crossed his features.

"You're home!" He said, wiping his eyes and sitting up, but Hotch pushed him gently back down into a lying position.

Hotch in turn, laid himself next to Reid so their faces were inches apart. Hotch stroked his face softly.

"You didn't have to do this." Hotch said.

Reid just smiled.

"Yes I did. You have been so busy lately and I've done nothing to help you. I've just made things more difficult for you. I wanted to do something nice."

"But you always say this stuff isn't important to you."

Reid leaned forward, gently kissing his boss.

"But it is to you... And so is this." Reid rolled himself on top of Hotch and leaned in to kiss him passionately.

"No Spencer." Hotch said, pushing the young man away from him. "You don't have to do this." He said gently.

"But I want to. I want to make you happy." He leaned in again, kissing his boyfriend softly. Hotch felt a stirring of lust and pulled Reid closer to him, hands tightening on his clothes.

"You sure?" Hotch whispered around the kiss

Reid just gave a slight moan as a cue for Hotch to continue. The older man pulled at Reid's top, sliding his hands up, underneath the material. He braced his arms around the young man's waist then rolled him over, reversing their positions.

Hotch took control of the whole situation and for the first time, Reid allowed him. There was no unintentional fighting, no resistance, Reid just tensed from time to time.

"You're amazing." Hotch whispered in Reid's ear, both of their faces were covered in a sheen of sweat as they panted next to each other. This had been the first time they had gone all the way and it was better than Hotch had ever expected. He pulled Reid in close, kissing him one last time before drifting off into a satisfied sleep.

_**But the new love cuts deep.**_

_**If I choose now, I'll lose out.**_

_**One of you has to fall.**_

_**And I need you...**_

Hotch watched Morgan in his kitchen shaking his hips around the room to some cheesy 80's music on the radio. He smiled happily, Morgan always managed to make him laugh. He watched him swinging his hips and suddenly found himself getting aroused. Standing up from the stool he was sitting on, he made his way over to Morgan never taking his eyes of his ass. A yelp escaped from Morgan when Hotch firmly grabbed both cheeks and pushed him forwards against the work surface.

Quickly swinging Morgan around, Hotch held him close to him drawing him into a deep, passionate kiss. He gradually moved his lips down his neck eliciting a soft gasp from Morgan's lips.

Between kisses Hotch whispered,

"God, I love you."

_**And you..**_

Reid lay his head in Hotch's lap as the older man gently stroked his head. After a while Hotch started to get a little bored and moved his hand down to Reid's neck where he knew he was ticklish. Grabbing down and forcefully tickling him, Reid squirmed underneath the touch.

Between panicked laughs he managed to speak.

"Aaron... stop... it." He broke into more laughter as Hotch's hands followed his quickly retreating neck. Hotch was smiling brightly, he loved making Reid squirm. Bracing his arms firmly around Reid's chest he pulled him backwards so Reid's back was on his chest. He then locked his lips onto Reid's neck, kissing gently.

He could feel Reid's hands on his trying to loosen his grip and laughed as he purposefully tightened them.

Reid was soon squirming again but managed to turn himself around and gain the upper hand on Hotch pushing him into the couch. Both stopped laughing as they locked eyes with each other. They stayed silent and still until the tension became too much and Hotch gently took Reid's face in his hands pulling him in for a soft kiss.

Looking deep into his hazel eyes, Hotch whispered.

"I love you, Spencer Reid."

_**Why do you come here when you know I've got troubles enough?**_

_**Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the phone?**_

_**Make me lie when I don't want to,  
>And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?<br>You make me stay when I should not.  
>Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?<strong>_

The team were sat in the conference room, discussing the profile of a local serial killer. A man, they believed to be in his thirties was raping and murdering successful business women in the local area. The BAU had been brought in when the victimology appeared to have changed slightly. The most recent victim had been ten years younger than the other victims, perplexing the local police force.

The team were merely consulting on the case, as they didn't feel it necessary to take over the investigation. It was clear, as it was with so many other cases, that the police needed guidance rather than a complete take over.

On initial assessment of the case, the team believed it to be the same unsub.

"Finding women that fit his type is obviously becoming more difficult for him." Prentiss mused.

"He's devolving." Morgan said simply. "The need to kill is becoming too hard for him to control. So instead of taking his time and sticking to his victim type, he's taking risks and going after more accessible victims."

"This is mirrored with his choice of dump sites too." Reid added quickly. "The first six victims were all dumped in low populated areas, where the chances of them being found were dramatically reduced, but his latest victim was dumped at the back of a bar in a highly populated area of town."

"He's getting sloppy." Hotch said.

"Not really." Rossi countered. "Even with all of the changes in MO, he's still not left a shred of evidence. Normally when an unsub drastically changes MO like this, they leave something behind."

"Are you sure this is the same guy?" JJ asked, looking over the file. Normally when she looked at photos of victims, there was some sort of cohesion. But this looked like two entirely different unsubs. She held up the pictures. "These don't look the same at all."

"Jaydge!" Garcia snapped, quickly shielding her eyes from the photos.

"Sorry." She mumbled, still not quite believing that Garcia had no resistance to the photos.

The team looked at the photos for a few moments, it did look like two entirely different crime scenes.

"It's definitely the same guy." Reid said confidently.

"Why do you say that?" Hotch asked, curiously.

"I think Morgan's right and he is devolving. His lust for another victim is making him go after more accessible victims. But as Rossi said, if he was sloppy enough to change the dump sites to somewhere the body would be discovered so easily, then surely he would have left some sort of evidence. This unsub is all about control. He controlled every aspect of his kills, from his victim type to where he dumped the bodies and how they looked when he dumped them. So it doesn't make sense that he would suddenly change that." They all looked at him confused, that was exactly what they had just been saying. "Unless, he wanted to make it look like it was someone else."

Morgan pointed to the photos.

"So you think this was on purpose?" Referencing the dump site.

Reid's eyes locked with Morgan's wrist. His face paled ever so slightly.

"Reid?" He didn't answer, his gaze was locked on Morgan's wrist. Morgan followed his gaze to the watch he was wearing. Clearing his throat quickly, he pulled his sleeve up over the watch and moved his arm under the table, shooting a quick glance to Hotch who shifted uncomfortably.

"Reid?" Prentiss asked.

Reid swallowed and stood up quickly.

"Excuse me." He mumbled, fumbling his way out of the room.

Morgan and Hotch exchanged serious glances. The rest of the team furrowed their brows, confused by Reid's odd reaction.

"What was all that about?" Prentiss said, then looked to Hotch, assuming he would know the problem.

"Is he okay?" JJ asked, again assuming Hotch would understand.

Hotch dropped his gaze to the table.

"Carry on, I'll speak to him." His voice was low and serious. He swiftly left the room. Morgan took a deep breath. He glanced up to find Rossi's piercing gaze, staring at him knowingly.

Reid was stood in Hotch's office, looking out of the window at nothing in particular. Hotch knocked gently on the door, aiming not to startle the young man. He entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Reid?" Hotch asked nervously. "What's the matter?" When Reid didn't answer, Hotch slowly moved towards him, putting a hand to his shoulder. "Spencer?"

"Don't touch me!" He snapped, spinning round to face his boyfriend. It was now that Hotch could see that Reid had been crying. His stomach lurched. "So when were you going to tell me?" Reid kept his voice quiet, not to attract any attention, as much as he wanted to scream and shout, he wasn't going to embarrass himself like that.

Hotch shifted uncomfortably.

"What are you talking about?" He didn't break Reid's eye contact, despite the overwhelming urge.

"The watch." Reid said simply, examining his face for reactions.

"The watch? Spencer, I don't follow."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Hotchner." Reid was seriously annoyed. The use of Hotch's full last name told him that. "The watch you gave to Morgan."

Hotch's face flushed as he realised this was the moment he had been dreading and he wasn't even prepared for it. This wasn't the way he wanted this to happen. Losing all respect for himself, he continued to try and claw his way out.

He laughed nervously.

"The watch I gave to _Morgan?_... Don't be so ridiculous."

Reid raised his eyebrows in a challenge.

"Oh! So are you telling me that if I went to remove that watch from Morgan's wrist it wouldn't have engraved on it in italics the letters:

_ILYNOFWYA_

_BFWIAWIWY _

_Croft"_

Hotch's face dropped, his skin paled.

"Or shall I just go and check?" Reid nodded his head and started to move around Hotch. Hotch grabbed his shoulders holding him back.

"No!" Hotch shouted.

Reid met his gaze again, his stare was cold and hard.

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. Smart Hotch, real smart. Tell me, were the letters intended to fool me or purely because you couldn't fit the whole inscription on the back of a watch?" His voice was sharp and angry, but there was a light, coldly amused tone in there too.

Hotch rubbed his hand down his face in distress. He couldn't let this happen.

"I don't know what you're talking about! What makes you think that watch is from me?" He asked in complete frustration.

Reid just shook his head in disbelief.

"You know, I'd have had more respect for you if you'd just thrown him down and started having sex in front of me." The words sounded odd coming out of Reid's mouth, but served to show Hotch exactly what mind set his boyfriend was in. He didn't care any more. "There's one thing you need to learn about dating someone with an eidetic memory, Aaron. When I see something, I don't forget it... I saw that watch in your bedside table drawer. But I was stupid enough to think that it was for me. I thought it was strange you would buy me something that looked as hideous as that, but the inscription, that's what made me prepare myself to be grateful. I put it back, exactly as I found it, dreading that you might find out I'd seen it and ruined the surpri-" Reid cut off mid-sentence, obviously something else had sprang into his mind.

He stared at Hotch in shock. The look on his face made Hotch's heart nearly jump into his throat. Despite the fact that it was pretty much there already.

"The party." Reid whispered... "How could I have been so stupid?" Reid was raising his voice now.

"No, no! Spencer, it's not what you think." He grabbed Reid by the fore arms, desperately holding on.

"GET OFF ME!" Reid shouted at the top of his lungs, almost certain that the rest of the office would have heard him by now. Hotch jumped back instantly. Unsure of how to deal with an irate Reid. "How long, Aaron? How long have you been sleeping with Morgan behind my back?"

Tears were welling up in Hotch's eyes now. He was starting to realise just how much he was losing.

"Spencer, please." He begged, trying to get Reid to calm down.

"How long?" Reid suddenly went extremely quiet, his voice was low and dangerous. His eyes stared intensely at Hotch.

Hotch shook his head, trying to get Reid not to do this.

"HOW LONG?" He shouted, his eyes filling with tears.

"Four months!" Hotch cried out. Almost as if it was a relief to finally get the burden off his chest.

If Reid had been shocked before, nothing compared to how he looked now. He was in complete shock and devastation. The look on his face broke Hotch's heart and he stepped forwards, instinctively trying to comfort him.

"Don't." Reid said strongly. Stepping back from his lover. He was shaking his head in complete disbelief. "Four months?" He whispered. "We've only been together for seven."

Hotch looked at him sadly, wishing he wasn't analysing everything. He stepped towards him again, feeling the need to explain himself.

"I know." He said desperately. "I'm disgusting." He pulled his face, showing his distaste. "Everything has been so hard. We got together and Morgan, he was always there! He was always over your shoulder, protecting you. He wouldn't let me near you on my own." Reid turned away shaking his head. "He wouldn't Spencer!" Hotch continued, "he was constantly there! I couldn't have two minutes alone with you."

"So what? You decided that sleeping with him was the best option?" Reid snapped.

"No! It wasn't like that!" Hotch had such an urge to grab Reid at that moment and just shake him. To tell him how confused he was, how little he had wanted to hurt him. But the words didn't come. They all sounded too clichéd.

"Well what was it like Aaron? Please, tell me!" Reid looked just about ready to break down.

"Morgan supported me, damn it!" Hotch shouted. "He helped me deal with you! He helped me understand you! If it wasn't for Morgan, we wouldn't even be together! I was too confused!" Hotch stopped talking as Reid laughed hysterically.

"He helped you deal with _me?_" Reid spat. "You cheat on me for four months and _I'm_ the one to blame?"

"No! No! Spencer, I didn't mean that." He quickly grabbed Reid by the arms, trying desperately to explain something, anything.

"Get the hell off me!" Reid shouted at the top of his voice, shoving Hotch across the room into his desk."Don't you dare blame me for this!" Reid continued shouting.

"Oh God, please, Spencer! That's not what I meant!" Hotch was quickly back towards his boyfriend again, desperately trying to salvage what was fast falling out from underneath him.

"Have you slept with him?" Reid asked, his eyes burning into Hotch's.

Hotch's mouth dropped open to answer, but no words came out. His silence spoke volumes. Reid just stood in shock, looking at the man he thought he knew and trusted. A tear ran down his face, then he dropped his gaze and moved to walk around Hotch and leave the room. But Hotch had other ideas.

He wrapped his arms tightly around the young man's chest, stopping him from leaving. Reid wriggled trying to break free from the grip.

"You can't just leave!" Hotch shouted, struggling to hold Reid back.

"Let go!" Reid shouted back hitting at the arms around his chest.

"I can't lose you!" He pulled Reid towards the couch in his room to try and get him to sit down.

"You should have thought about that before you slept with Morgan!" Reid renewed his struggle ten fold, when Hotch's grip tightened slightly. "Get... OFF ME!" He swung his elbow round, connecting with Hotch's cheekbone. Hotch automatically released his grip on the young man and Reid spun round, looking startled at his lover. His instincts told him that what he had just done was not good. Backing away, he moved himself to the door, as Hotch nursed his cheek in surprise and upset. He really knew he'd deserved that. And a lot more. But anger sparked in him.

He launched forward for Reid, grabbing him by the shoulders. He quickly whirled him round and shoved him up against the wall. His back hit hard against the plaster and he winced a little. But Reid was quick to recover.

"Oh! So this is what you do to each other then?... Explains a lot." Reid said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Hotch asked, frustrated. Leaning in slightly threatening to Reid.

"Your sudden alpha male behaviour, the pressure you've been putting on me for sex, the controlling body language you've been developing." He was taunting Hotch now and he knew it, but he also knew it to be true. "I should have seen it really. You've been trying to turn me into Morgan for the last two months!"

"No, Spencer, I haven't!" Hotch argued, grabbing Reid's face in his hands.

"Don't." He argued weakly. Now he just wanted to kiss Hotch, hug him and cry in his arms. But the betrayal was too devastating. Tears started running down Reid's face. "Please don't make this harder than it already is." He whispered.

In turn, Hotch started crying too. As he looked into Reid's eyes, it brought back all of the memories of his happy times with the young man. And what had made him fall in love with him in the first place. At that moment, Morgan couldn't even compare. Hotch's heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest and it was no one's fault but his own.

"I can't lose you." Hotch said, holding on tightly to Reid's face, pulling it in close. Reid's hands were wrapped around Hotch's wrists, not trusting him with the complete control of his head.

"You already have." Reid said coldly.

"No!" Hotch quickly grabbed Reid into a tight hug, he wasn't going to let him go. "I love you." Reid's face was now next to his. He kissed his cheek hard and desperately. "Please, Spencer. Don't do this."

Reid's hand were braced against Hotch's chest, trying to push him away, but to no avail. Hotch was too strong and Reid was stuck. He felt anger burning up inside of him when Hotch kissed his cheek and he picked up his struggle. He started hitting out at his lover, slapping, kicking, thumping on his chest until he broke down into desperate sobs. Hotch's grasp still hadn't loosened and when Reid broke down, he pulled him closer into a comforting hug, which despite the situation, Reid took willingly.

They both cried, holding onto each other tightly. Both knowing deep down, this was the last time they would ever do this. And as much as Reid hated Hotch at that moment, he couldn't let him go. Not just yet.

"I'm so sorry." Hotch whispered, "I'm so sorry." He repeated it over and over again as Reid sobbed in his arms.

As the emotions became to much for Reid, he pushed Hotch away and quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"Just tell me why." He said quickly, his voice strained with upset. Hotch just furrowed his brows, not knowing what to say. His arms were now folded, his eyes glazed with tears. He was more devastated than he'd expected to be.

Reid stood and waited, his lips twitching with unshed emotions, his eyes tainted with betrayal. He shook his head, looking as if he was about to speak. Then he dropped his gaze to the floor, giving up. He simply turned and opened the door to the office.

Stood to the side of it was Morgan. He had clearly been listening in. Reid stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the man who used to be his best friend for a few moments. Morgan eyes were wide and nervous, he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself as Reid's eyes welled up. The young man closed his eyes tight for a few seconds, taking a deep breath. When he exhaled, they opened, now cold and dismissive.

"You're welcome to him." Was all he said. He turned, walking down to his desk. He ignored the concerned looks from his team mates who obviously understood what was happening by now and sat down. He pulled out the file that had now been placed on his desk and started scribbling down notes.

They all watched him in shock. JJ, Prentiss, Garcia and Rossi looked up to Morgan, disgust written all over their faces. He looked back, watching Reid with his mouth slightly open.

Morgan turned to lock gazes with Hotch, who was now sat depressively on his desk in the office. Morgan nodded to tell him he'd done the right thing. Then he turned away, glancing over at Reid one last time, he quickly retreated to the safety of his office.

Reid sat, scribbling furious onto the note pad in front of him. The team had been gathered around Prentiss' desk, looking in the direction of Hotch's office. Now Morgan had left, they drew their attentions to the young man.

"Reid?" Prentiss said gently.

"There is of course another theory." Reid said quickly.

They all exchanged confused glances.

"What?" Prentiss questioned, brows furrowed.

"The dump sites could reflect the way he felt about the women. Perhaps when he changed victimology he found he had less respect for his less successful victims. Hence being dumped by the skips at the back of the nightclub."

"Reid-" Garcia tried to interrupt.

"He spent more time with the other victims post-mortem. He wanted to lay them to rest properly. So why not just bury them?" He stood up, holding his notepad in his hand. His gaze never left it. "He wants these bodies to be found and he wants the police involved." He said thoughtfully.

"Spence!" JJ went to follow him as he left towards the conference room, but Rossi stopped her with a soft tug on her arm.

"Leave him." Rossi said gently. Looking through the blinds at the young man now furiously scribbling all over a map.

__**One of you has to fall.**__

It had been a week since Reid had discovered the affair between Hotch and Morgan. And despite their many attempts to strike up some sort of discussion about it, Reid was refusing point blank to talk. He avoided their eye contact, ignored their calls and barely spoke to them on a professional level. Only when it was absolutely necessary.

He looked dreadful, it was clear he was losing weight and he appeared exhausted. But his brain had been working over time. He had almost been doing the whole team's jobs for them.

The team had completely fallen apart. JJ and Garcia were refusing to speak to Morgan. They only spoke to Hotch because he was their superior. Prentiss regarded them, purely because of their status as work colleagues and Rossi served once again as mediator. Not taking any particular side, but from the point of view of the women, he was firmly in Hotch's camp. His idea of helping Reid was leaving him be.

The girls didn't work that way. Although, they were starting to figure out that they might as well. Reid was treating them with deliberate disregard almost as much as the men. Any jokes were ignored, attempts to comfort him were completely swept under the carpet and non-work related conversations lasted a matter of seconds.

"This is painful." Prentiss said. Head in her hands. "It's like he doesn't trust anyone now."

"I hate Hotch." JJ said angrily. "... And Morgan."

"JJ, you have to remember, this is personal, between them. It isn't for us to judge who is in the right and in the wrong here." Rossi said sensibly. "We don't know what's gone on behind closed doors."

"No. But we know what's gone on in Reid's past." JJ argued. "And being cheated on by his boyfriend with his best friend-" JJ stopped when she was nudged by Prentiss. Hotch had entered the room, Morgan followed behind.

"Right, we're dealing with this once and for all." Morgan said, straight out. "Hotch and I are in love." He sat down at the table, just daring someone to challenge him. "We have been for two months."

Hotch shifted uncomfortably, under the scrutiny of his colleagues' gazes.

JJ rolled her eyes.

"What and you think that makes breaking Reid's heart okay?"

"No." Morgan looked her square in the eye. "What we did to Reid was unforgivable. And he deserves so much better. But no matter how much we've hurt him, it would be wrong of me to say I regret it. Because it brought us together." He grabbed hold of Hotch's hand.

"You disgust me." JJ spat, standing up to leave the room.

"You can either deal with this and learn to work with us. Or you can take a transfer to another team." Hotch said, his voice not half as strong as he'd hoped. His full commitment wasn't quite there.

JJ stopped dead in her tracks. Looking at the pair in shock.

"Well it seems that tactic has succeeded once!" Garcia entered the room, slamming down a gun and badge on the table. Reid's gun and badge. The anger in her voice was uncharacteristic and the whole team found themselves staring in shock. "He's taken a transfer!" She said, he eyes welling up with tears.

"What?" Prentiss practically shouted. The team looked to each other, devastated.

"Where to?" Rossi asked.

"I can't find out, he's kept it off the system because he knew I would stop it!"

Hotch stared down at the gun and badge on the table. His stomach was doing somersaults. He didn't expect this, but all he wanted to do was cry.

"I hope you are both happy!" JJ said viciously. "You have ruined his life!"

JJ stormed out of the conference room, Garcia shot the two men a look and quickly followed, breaking down into tears as she did. Morgan kept his gaze dropped to the table.

Prentiss stood. She just shook her head at the pair. No words could describe how she felt about them at that moment. Disgust didn't even cover it.

Hotch brought his gaze to Rossi, who looked between the two men. His eyes were all knowing, non-judgemental, but they could see right through Hotch. Rossi then left the room, bowing his head in sadness at the loss of a close friend.

Hotch took a shuddering breath and finally Morgan looked up.

"You okay?" He asked gently, putting his arm gently around his lover's shoulders. Hotch just nodded, his eyes full of sorrow. "We're gonna be okay, you know. I love you."

Hotch's thoughts were with everything he'd lost. He thought about Reid as his kind, gentle touch and his warm smile. His strange quirks, like wearing his watch over his jumper, his hair in a morning when it was falling in front of his eyes. His addiction to coffee and sugary treats, his ability to say completely the wrong thing in any situation. His constant attempts to improve himself for Hotch's benefit. Hotch closed his eyes. Reid really needn't have bothered. He was already perfect.

Hotch smiled an empty smile.

"I love you too."


End file.
